Life update… what’s been going on!

It’s coming up to almost 2 years since my last post- disregarding my most recent post of course. I was in the middle of planning my wedding the last a time I put a post up and now I’ve just skipped right to having a baby. Yes guys, I did get married, things were done the proper way 😊. Baby arrived on my wedding anniversary as a matter of fact so you can do the math if you would like lol.

I’m not sure what way to do this. I mean this blog is really more of a personal diary than anything else. I don’t do a whole lot to get traffic going here and i guess what I’m getting at is whether or not I should fill whoever in on the last two years? The wedding planning, the actual wedding, changing jobs, then getting pregnant and then moving…there’s a lot! Or maybe a fresh should start is what is needed? 

I would like to think that I am a completely different person from my last post in 2015, but am I really? I mean I’m a wife and mother in the space of a year but I don’t think I’ve changed that much. I think I wish I had changed in some way… for the better at least but instead I feel like I’ve just added layers for each new role while remaining the same at my core, you know what I mean? Like I’m a mum but im not just that, I’m Dupe as a mum. Underneath all the things that make me a mum you can still see accents of me 😊.

Ok, maybe I’ll just summarise for the sake of record keeping. Planning the wedding was stressful especially as it was during a super busy period at work. I felt split. I always had to be in work earlier than normal to clear the constant backlog and stay back late to get a jump start on the next day. In the midst of that we were being taken over by a new company which presented an entirely different hassle of its own. And with the wedding getting closer I was still trying to stay on top of my fitness which meant late night gym sessions after a long day. The only time I had to plan was sometimes to and from work but I somehow made it work. I managed to make 2 trips home that year before going back a third time for the actual wedding. I will tell you this, planning your wedding will test your relationship in one way or another just make sure you always remember what the end goal is. 

Picking my dress was a thing in itself! It’s no child’s play! I tried on about 25 dresses and ended up picking no.1 of the 25 dresses 7 months later πŸ˜†. 

So the wedding came and went with minor hitches. Overall it was a beautiful and blessed day. Not everything went according to plan but at the same time nothing went drastically wrong either thank Jesus! 

Fast forward to just over 3 months after the wedding and I find out I’m pregnant right after starting a new job. It was a FTC role so naturally when the found out I was pregnant they were less inclined to extend my contract… which thinking about it now was probably for the best as I did not exactly love the role, it just wasn’t a right fit. 

So I’ve had the baby and I’m about 4 months into this motherhood thing and personally I think it’s going good but we’ll leave that for another post πŸ˜‰. In terms of how often I’m going to post now that I’m trying to be back, I really can’t say. My life revolves around my small human, it’s not all about my son but he is definitely a determining factor in most things at this stage of his life. I have tonnes of post just sitting in my drafts and I’m not quite sure how to fit them into my current life, everything seems so changed these days I’m not always entirely sure if I can still relate to my previous state of mind. I read a post I drafted in my first months of pregnancy and I was in shock with how ungrateful and selfish I sounded. Oh BTW, when I found out I was pregnant I was not thrilled at all, and not because I didn’t love kids- I adore them but I wasn’t ready. I wanted so badly to be ready mentally, financially, physically and emotionally. I always said I wanted to be a stay at home mum for about a year and to do that we’d have to make sure our finances were in check. And at 3 months after a wedding we weren’t there yet, plus I just got this new job and things looked like they were picking up – not that pregnancy is the part of life “picking up”- but it wasn’t for me at that moment in my life. But yea, reading that post made feel so disconnected from myself especially since having my son. And I know some of you will say that I’m being too hard on myself and it’s OK to want to wait and be prepared but I’m so happy that I had my son when I did. I’m 4 months in and it’s just right, its not perfect but I know it’s right. I expected to be writing about life after a year of marriage and how we were ready to expand our family but life has a funny way of happening to your plans. I’ll just have to go with the flow from now on. I won’t make any promises about getting posts up but I will try and do better this year. I feel that this part of my life deserves some sort of documenting even if it’s just for myself πŸ˜‹. 

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3 things I miss about living in Poland

Yes, I know how much I complained when I actually lived there but hey, its human nature. You never fully get what you have till you’re removed from the situation and stand far enough to appreciate it. I was feeling rather positive and a lil adventurous today, I decided to trust the African salon down the street with my natural hair …. what an unholy mess that was. Please, please do not even letΒ  me get into the rant, Lord don’t make me do it! I’ve been natural for 4 years and I know the number one rule for all naturals is to never compare your hair to anyone else’s, but my goodness have I fallen behind on my journey. Anyway, I will reluctantly move on to how I came about the title of this post. So after getting my hair totally messed up ( leaving out the obscenities) I decided to go through memory lane to see where I dropped the ball, the most pictures I took of my hair was while I was in Poland because I was blogging more actively then (which should really be the 4th thing I miss about Poland, the time and inspiration to blog). As I was going through all the hair pictures I stumbled across the amazing time I had in the Poland. I know this sounds awful and corny, but guys I actually think I found a lil of myself while I was there. Some days I was incredibly lonely and depressed but on other days I was a bit fearless and just open to everything. My mind worked in a better way, a more creative way! But these are the 3 things I miss the “mostest” πŸ™‚

  1. I miss my time with God probably the most. I can not explain the hunger and thirst I had for God when I first got to Wroclaw. Plus I took part in the RCCG 100 days fast which truly changed my spiritual life. The peace I felt was second to none, even though I was in strange place with no one I knew, I felt so at home with God and made real progress with my spiritual life. It gave me a tiny glimpse of what I could really enjoy and gain from constantly being in God’s presence. It was awesome, it was one of the best moments of my life.
  2. I miss how amazing my hair and skin was then. Because I was actively blogging and documenting my hair journey I guess I just gave more of aΒ  ish about my hair. I almost cried when I came across a picture of hair with full edges! I have taken so many things for granted this last year with my hair. I have taken liberties and seriously backtracked my journey. Now I have my wedding in 5 months and I’m not sure I can make any measurable progress before then. I will not lie guys, the creamy crack is at the top of my list, like right at the top of my list, followed closely by cutting it all off to start afresh! My skin… where do I start? My skin has been fairly ok till recently which can probably be attributed to me taking somewhat desperate measures to keep my facial issues under control. Again, I have 5 months to get my skin to the best it’s ever been. I’m not the most promising bride, am I? 😦
  3. I miss how opened minded living in a new place made me. I tried so many new things, found new things that I enjoyed, shared a different culture with new friends. Realised that once I opened up a bit I was actually quite likeable and learned how to be by myself and not get suicidal. Found new ways to keep myself occupied and entertained. It’s crazy how a small town in Poland could make me want so much more out of every aspect of my life. Spiritually, professionally, mentally, physically and even financially (surprisingly) I was in a sound place. But then human nature walks in and starts pointing out everything that is wrong with the situation and then you start dropping all the lessons you learned… then one day you get your hair massacred and realise that you had it good before.

God help me to be less human sometimes so I can really take what you give me as it is and appreciate it there and then.

Amen.

Goodnight.

For the Love of Weddings – Follow Me on Pinterest

I love love love weddings! If you do too and need inspiration then follow me!

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