It’s coming up to almost 2 years since my last post- disregarding my most recent post of course. I was in the middle of planning my wedding the last a time I put a post up and now I’ve just skipped right to having a baby. Yes guys, I did get married, things were done the proper way 😊. Baby arrived on my wedding anniversary as a matter of fact so you can do the math if you would like lol.
I’m not sure what way to do this. I mean this blog is really more of a personal diary than anything else. I don’t do a whole lot to get traffic going here and i guess what I’m getting at is whether or not I should fill whoever in on the last two years? The wedding planning, the actual wedding, changing jobs, then getting pregnant and then moving…there’s a lot! Or maybe a fresh should start is what is needed?
I would like to think that I am a completely different person from my last post in 2015, but am I really? I mean I’m a wife and mother in the space of a year but I don’t think I’ve changed that much. I think I wish I had changed in some way… for the better at least but instead I feel like I’ve just added layers for each new role while remaining the same at my core, you know what I mean? Like I’m a mum but im not just that, I’m Dupe as a mum. Underneath all the things that make me a mum you can still see accents of me 😊.
Ok, maybe I’ll just summarise for the sake of record keeping. Planning the wedding was stressful especially as it was during a super busy period at work. I felt split. I always had to be in work earlier than normal to clear the constant backlog and stay back late to get a jump start on the next day. In the midst of that we were being taken over by a new company which presented an entirely different hassle of its own. And with the wedding getting closer I was still trying to stay on top of my fitness which meant late night gym sessions after a long day. The only time I had to plan was sometimes to and from work but I somehow made it work. I managed to make 2 trips home that year before going back a third time for the actual wedding. I will tell you this, planning your wedding will test your relationship in one way or another just make sure you always remember what the end goal is.
Picking my dress was a thing in itself! It’s no child’s play! I tried on about 25 dresses and ended up picking no.1 of the 25 dresses 7 months later 😆.
So the wedding came and went with minor hitches. Overall it was a beautiful and blessed day. Not everything went according to plan but at the same time nothing went drastically wrong either thank Jesus!
Fast forward to just over 3 months after the wedding and I find out I’m pregnant right after starting a new job. It was a FTC role so naturally when the found out I was pregnant they were less inclined to extend my contract… which thinking about it now was probably for the best as I did not exactly love the role, it just wasn’t a right fit.
So I’ve had the baby and I’m about 4 months into this motherhood thing and personally I think it’s going good but we’ll leave that for another post 😉. In terms of how often I’m going to post now that I’m trying to be back, I really can’t say. My life revolves around my small human, it’s not all about my son but he is definitely a determining factor in most things at this stage of his life. I have tonnes of post just sitting in my drafts and I’m not quite sure how to fit them into my current life, everything seems so changed these days I’m not always entirely sure if I can still relate to my previous state of mind. I read a post I drafted in my first months of pregnancy and I was in shock with how ungrateful and selfish I sounded. Oh BTW, when I found out I was pregnant I was not thrilled at all, and not because I didn’t love kids- I adore them but I wasn’t ready. I wanted so badly to be ready mentally, financially, physically and emotionally. I always said I wanted to be a stay at home mum for about a year and to do that we’d have to make sure our finances were in check. And at 3 months after a wedding we weren’t there yet, plus I just got this new job and things looked like they were picking up – not that pregnancy is the part of life “picking up”- but it wasn’t for me at that moment in my life. But yea, reading that post made feel so disconnected from myself especially since having my son. And I know some of you will say that I’m being too hard on myself and it’s OK to want to wait and be prepared but I’m so happy that I had my son when I did. I’m 4 months in and it’s just right, its not perfect but I know it’s right. I expected to be writing about life after a year of marriage and how we were ready to expand our family but life has a funny way of happening to your plans. I’ll just have to go with the flow from now on. I won’t make any promises about getting posts up but I will try and do better this year. I feel that this part of my life deserves some sort of documenting even if it’s just for myself 😋.