3 things I miss about living in Poland

Yes, I know how much I complained when I actually lived there but hey, its human nature. You never fully get what you have till you’re removed from the situation and stand far enough to appreciate it. I was feeling rather positive and a lil adventurous today, I decided to trust the African salon down the street with my natural hair …. what an unholy mess that was. Please, please do not even let  me get into the rant, Lord don’t make me do it! I’ve been natural for 4 years and I know the number one rule for all naturals is to never compare your hair to anyone else’s, but my goodness have I fallen behind on my journey. Anyway, I will reluctantly move on to how I came about the title of this post. So after getting my hair totally messed up ( leaving out the obscenities) I decided to go through memory lane to see where I dropped the ball, the most pictures I took of my hair was while I was in Poland because I was blogging more actively then (which should really be the 4th thing I miss about Poland, the time and inspiration to blog). As I was going through all the hair pictures I stumbled across the amazing time I had in the Poland. I know this sounds awful and corny, but guys I actually think I found a lil of myself while I was there. Some days I was incredibly lonely and depressed but on other days I was a bit fearless and just open to everything. My mind worked in a better way, a more creative way! But these are the 3 things I miss the “mostest” 🙂

  1. I miss my time with God probably the most. I can not explain the hunger and thirst I had for God when I first got to Wroclaw. Plus I took part in the RCCG 100 days fast which truly changed my spiritual life. The peace I felt was second to none, even though I was in strange place with no one I knew, I felt so at home with God and made real progress with my spiritual life. It gave me a tiny glimpse of what I could really enjoy and gain from constantly being in God’s presence. It was awesome, it was one of the best moments of my life.
  2. I miss how amazing my hair and skin was then. Because I was actively blogging and documenting my hair journey I guess I just gave more of a  ish about my hair. I almost cried when I came across a picture of hair with full edges! I have taken so many things for granted this last year with my hair. I have taken liberties and seriously backtracked my journey. Now I have my wedding in 5 months and I’m not sure I can make any measurable progress before then. I will not lie guys, the creamy crack is at the top of my list, like right at the top of my list, followed closely by cutting it all off to start afresh! My skin… where do I start? My skin has been fairly ok till recently which can probably be attributed to me taking somewhat desperate measures to keep my facial issues under control. Again, I have 5 months to get my skin to the best it’s ever been. I’m not the most promising bride, am I? 😦
  3. I miss how opened minded living in a new place made me. I tried so many new things, found new things that I enjoyed, shared a different culture with new friends. Realised that once I opened up a bit I was actually quite likeable and learned how to be by myself and not get suicidal. Found new ways to keep myself occupied and entertained. It’s crazy how a small town in Poland could make me want so much more out of every aspect of my life. Spiritually, professionally, mentally, physically and even financially (surprisingly) I was in a sound place. But then human nature walks in and starts pointing out everything that is wrong with the situation and then you start dropping all the lessons you learned… then one day you get your hair massacred and realise that you had it good before.

God help me to be less human sometimes so I can really take what you give me as it is and appreciate it there and then.

Amen.

Goodnight.

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I AM BACK!!!

Hello my loves!

Gosh! Where to bloody start right?? I mean how long has it been, like 9 months maybe?? No, no guys I am not pregnant just so much has gone on and happened. But the one actual reason for my absence was my laptop crashing, that sorta just threw me completely out of wanting to blog. I know I could have just used the app but truthfully, I feel that mentally my head just wasn’t in it. Everything just seemed to be up in the air and getting used to work and everything else just kept me sidetracked permanently. But I am happy to say that things seems to be falling into place now and I’m starting to feel settled again.

For the next month or so I’ll be backtracking to get you up to speed on what I have been up to, which to be fair has not been a lot or particularly exciting but still noteworthy. This is just a quick stop by to let you know that I’M BACK! keep your eyes peeled (I hate this saying, like how do you peel your eyes?? Ugh!) for upcoming posts!!! 😗😗😗😗

I’m back! Where have I been, what am I doing and all that good stuff…

Hey Guys and Happy Sunday!

First off I want to say a big thank you to God from Whom all blessings flow! I hope you guys are good and well. It has been a really long time since I’ve been here and I have to say it is good to be back! I have been itching and at the same time procrastinating to come back here. Don’t worry, it’s nothing huge or deep like that I’ve just been super busy and not settled these past few months. To be able to blog, personally, I feel you need to have your ish together, know where everything is and just be organised mentally. I feel no inspiration when I’m living out of a suitcase and struggling to find a pair of tights in the morning, I find it hard to gather my thoughts together.

From my last post  I sorta caught you up to speed on what God has been up to in my life and where I was and where I was going. I think the last time we had a one to one was when I was still in Poland and getting all my stuff together to move back to Dublin and resume my previous position at work which I wan’t too thrilled about at the time but I have to say I was relieved to be getting out of Wroclaw. Yes, I had some amazing times there, made friends with some awesome people and fell in love with Inglot but at the end of the day it still wasn’t home and I missed my brother and English! A couple of months back , around April or May I had booked a trip to America which would come around two weeks after I was back in Dublin, which added some excitement into moving back. That trip was long over due and I had made an extensive list of products I was going to stock up on while there ( Don’t worry, I have a sweet haul coming up) lol, and stuff I wanted to do and people to see, so I was super excited as the time for the trip drew nearer. I had ached for a holiday for the longest time, my brain was tired of work and because of how God in all his glorious awesomeness worked out this new job it meant that I would be finishing up with my previous company a day before my trip. Which meant I didn’t have to travel with my work laptop or phone, it would be a real holiday without having to get calendar alerts for upcoming conference calls. This was exactly what I needed! I barely had time to unpack from Poland before being told I would be moving to London for a new job so I just sorta lived out of a suitcase for the last two months. I had so much fun on my trip but not enough time. I flew into Baltimore via Boston ( which btw is an awfully boring airport) and spent sometime with one of my oldest childhood friends and then to NYC to see to some of my other friends. The trip went by way too quick and before I knew it I had discarded my list, I just couldn’t get myself in the mood to shop with everything whizzing past, plus I sorta felt guilty about dragging who ever I was staying with from one make up store to another :(.

The view from my cousin's apartment in Manhattan.... LOVE!
The view from my cousin’s apartment in Manhattan…. LOVE!
Rocking the puff right before getting my chunky twists done
Rocking the puff right before getting my chunky twists done

I did however have a whole day to shop at Woodsbury Commons outlet just outside NYC. I went with my cousin and we had so much fun even though it was horrible and rainy outside. And on the way out there I stopped and Buddy’s bakery from the reality tv show Cake Boss ( you can not understand how excited I was! Freaking love Buddy! He’s such a BAWSE!) Which was just outside the coach station. I finally got to try the famous lobster tail and my goodness was it amazing!! All that delicious cream and pastry, soooo good! But that’s not all I did, I went shopping in SoHo for a bit then walked the whole length of 5th Avenue and ended up in Central Park buying a falafel from a food truck. I went for an exhibition at the MoMA with my friend who just moved into a pretty snazzy apartment in Brooklyn in the cutest neighbourhood.

I was sooooo excited when I got this!
I was sooooo excited when I got this!
....and more excited when I opened it!
….and more excited when I opened it!
The view from my friend's apartment in Brooklyn
The view from my friend’s apartment in Brooklyn

It was all around fun but before I knew it I was back in that dead airport in Boston waiting for my connecting flight to Dublin and just like that It was over. With the fun out the way I was left with a week to tie up loose ends in Dublin and get the apartment completely empty. I will not bore you with or remind myself of how horrible and stressful that week was, topped up with me being sick with the flu. I just really Thank God we were able to get it sorted. My brother had moved to the UK two weeks before so he came back that weekend to help with the last and worse part of the move. We took as much as we could in the car and cargo-ed the rest. We finally got to London at almost midnight after a 9 hour drive (we stopped in Manchester to see an aunt and to take a quick nap). I’ve now been in London for almost 5 weeks and I’ve finally found a place to live. I have to stay that was probably the hardest part of the move, finding a place that I liked, wasn’t too far from work and within my budget, but right when I was about to give up God came through for me AGAIN and I found the puuuuuuurfect room. I’m still in the process of getting everything in order but waking up every day in my bed never felt so good! I had always taken it for granted but there’s nothing as good as having your own place to just unwind and hide away. I love it.

So what’s to come you might ask (or not ask :p)? London isn’t a new city to me so getting into the swing of things wasn’t particularly hard for me but I am excited to be here and I love how there’s always so much to do. I don’t however like how expensive it is, but hey, what are you gonna do right??? My next couple of post are most likely going to be beauty related as I have so much to show and share with you guys and I’ve started dabbling in some facial products from LUSH. Very excited to step up my game in terms of my face regimen, it’s been long overdue…. and then finally I might actually get round to planning my darn wedding!

Missed being on here, I know it hasn’t been that long, but for the 9 months while I was in Poland, this blog really kept me company and inspired. It made being on my own in a truly strange place less daunting, and I’ll never take it for granted. Speak to you guys soon! xxx

Update…. What God Has Been Up To :)

Hello All! It has been ages I know, there has literally been so much going on with me and God has just been embarrassing me with blessings. It has all been a bit of a whirlwind and it hasn’t really sunk in yet but I’m taking it all in. I had recently become dissatisfied with my job in Poland and to be honest I was just over life in Poland in general, no amount of Inglot products could make me feel better. I missed home and normality, I missed my brothers, friends, people speaking English, and I just couldn’t get with the people starring at me all the time. But with all that, I wasn’t sure if Dublin was where I still wanted to be or if I was even still interested in my job. I wanted to apply for jobs but I didn’t want to jump the gun with God but at the same time I had to put my faith to work right? So I applied for a couple of jobs I knew I was qualified for and got nothing back and I knew that my cv was right and I could do every single one of the positions I applied for but still nothing. So I left the job applications alone for a while and concentrated on work. I had been asked when I would like to return to Dublin and I had given them my ideal date which was mid August even though I had no interest in going back to Dublin or my job. I badly wanted a new start but I never voiced this out, not even in prayer, there was just something nagging in me for something fresh but it wasn’t accurate, it was just a feeling and I ignored it. But God didn’t.

Apart from not getting a response to my applications the other reason why I stopped applying was because it dawned on me that I have never gotten a job by looking for it or applying, it has always been through a referral or a recruiter souring me out. And so when I was sending out applications it was hard to add faith to it because I honestly didn’t feel it was going to get anywhere, it felt artificial, it didn’t feel like God. Shortly before I went home (Nigeria) for my parent’s anniversary I got contacted via LinkedIn for a job in Dublin, it was similar to what I was doing in Poland and it was located in central Dublin which meant not having to get up super early to get to work. I was so happy that someone was interested in me but there was something at the back of my mind that felt “Ugh, Dublin though” but I pushed it down. I didn’t want to be ungrateful just because of the location so I went with it. I had a screening call then an interview that went really well and everything seemed to be going good. All I was waiting for was my second final interview and they would make a decision which would be perfect because I could resign from my job while in Poland before I move back to Dublin at just have a brand new start… even if it was still in Dublin. One week went by, two, three, and still no word back from them on when the second interview would take place. I gave up, I was a recruiter too, I knew how this ‘you’re on hold’ game worked, I could be on hold for months and eventually forgotten about. So I forgot about it.

The recruiter that had approached genuinely liked me and was so nice and easy to talk to. Something kept nudging me to go back to her, but go back to her and say what? I had no idea but I felt like something was waiting to be put into motion and all I had to do was to pull the trigger by faith, I really felt this way. So I went back to the recruiter and told her that if she had any other positions that she thought I would be suitable for she should consider me for them… even if it wasn’t in Dublin. Within 5 mins she got back to me telling me that there was another role but in London, was I interested? Heck yea I was! Because I had already had a face to face interview with one of the senior managers he was able to vouch for my personality in person, so all I had was have a brief 20min call with someone else and the job was mine… just like that. But not really.

To anyone reading this you’re probably thinking ‘big deal, so you got a new job, keep it moving please’ and that’s fair enough. I felt compelled to share this because for me it is an amazing thing but also because I feel that someone else might need this encouragement to keep the faith. Everything happens for a reason with God, even mistakes work out for good with God. When I got the opportunity to go out to Poland it came at a time where I desperately needed change, I needed to be uprooted from my role in Dublin into something new that would push me. And with my role in Poland that was what I gained, the experience and exposure was right on the money. What I thought was just a change in environment was a step towards my new job and I didn’t know it. I was to busy panicking towards the end of it that I gained all this experience and for what, to go back to my old boring job? Not knowing that it was that same experience that got the recruiter to find me easily on LinkedIn. God needed me to get the experience to be considered for the position and make it through to the first round of interviews which gave me the opportunity to show my personality and get my foot in the door. The job in Dublin was just another stepping stone to my true heart desire. The job I have now accepted in London has nothing to do with the role I was doing in Poland because even though I got all that experience and challenges in Poland the truth is that I was sick of the role itself and that was why I had become dissatisfied. If I had gotten the job in Dublin I would have become dissatisfied fairly quickly too, but even I didn’t know that but God did. Just liked he new want I really wanted even though I was never bold enough to ask for it out loud. He met me at the level of my faith. At one point it felt like it was all up in the air and nothing seemed to be working, I felt myself getting depressed because of how out of control I was in regards to knowing what was going on. I’m always one for telling people to trust God, but it’s easier said than done when that means sitting in the dark for a while…. Be still and know I am God. I hear that in my head all the time and it helps, it’s difficult but it helps. You might be going through something right now or waiting on God for something, don’t worry about your level of faith God will meet you at that level. Do not lose hope and exercise your faith, if it is God’s will you will know it.

Dealing With Sin

Ok, lets talk a lil about sin today. Now, for must of us as Christians sin is a constant battle in our lives and something that we go head to head with either our flesh or the devil. And it’s tough, you want to come up victorious all the time! You want to stick it to the Devil and say not today! You want to gain control of your life and stop letting yourself get away with things you know you are better and stronger than. The Bible tells us to look at all sin as being equal and should be treated as so ( James 2: 10 -11), but what we tend to do is water down the weight of certain sins. For instance lying –  it doesn’t feel as bad as killing someone – which is also frowned on by society, plus there are serious consequences for committing this sin/crime. You will not only have to answer to God but man as well. But how about lying? The Bible says that all liars shall find themselves in the  lake of fire (Revelation 21:8)… how much more severe does it need to get for us to take that seriously. This isn’t me talking down on you in any way, I myself tell the occasional lie to get myself out of an awkward or sticky situation and think nothing of it… most times.

Now for sin as little as that we sometimes feel nothing, heck we even forget to ask for forgiveness sometimes and we let it become part of our “Christian Life”. For some reason over the last two years I have decided that I didn’t want to be that type of Christian anymore, I wanted to rise above mediocrity  and really place God above all else. So I asked for a sensitive spirit, one that would get pricked at the slightest thing. Yes, at the slightest thing I wanted to feel the weight of the cross on my back just to keep myself in check. I have so many issues with my spiritual life and I think a lot of it stems from my laid back attitude to sin… all sin really. Some times I feel that God’s grace and mercy is a gift and a burden at the same time. Because I know grace abounds I somehow let my sins abound as well making a mental note to ask for forgiveness the following day or before I go to bed that night ( Romans 6:1). How can I live this way, shouldn’t my relationship with the Almighty be powered by love and fear above all else??? Let’s even forget for second that God is also an all-consuming fire (Hebrews 12: 28 -29), I look at people here on earth that I say that I love- family, friends, boyfriend etc. I would never intentionally do anything that I know would upset them constantly, that would be the opposite of what I say I feel for them. And these people haven’t even really given me anything when compared to the blessings I have received from God. What does it say about my regard for God?

And then there are some sins that are constant- addictive almost, you all know these sins. The thorn in the flesh sort of sins – the besetting sins that put so much distance between you and God! The ones that you don’t even what to ask for forgiveness for because of the shame, you want to burn just a bit longer in the guilt and sorrow as your penance even though you know that Jesus has already paid the ultimate price. We all have these sins, and depending on the level of your relationship with God you might not even have figured out which they are yet. But, you will find that as your relationship with God grows and your spirit becomes more sensitive there will be this one thing that you find yourself doing constantly. And no matter how much you want to move forward with God it knocks you down every time, and sometimes without any prompting from the devil.  Now I don’t know if this is what Paul was referring to as the thorn in his flesh to keep him humble, but if it is then I totally get it! This “thorn in my flesh” reminds me how important it is to always be in God’s presence, how weak I am on my own, how prone I am to doing wrong, and overall how much I need God.

Sin is terrible because it creates a distance between God and us (Genesis 3: 7 – 10), but it is also something that we will have to deal with daily while here on earth. On our own we are not strong enough to rise above it everyday but with the help of the holy spirit and a contrite heart we can be victorious everyday. When sin happens be careful with how long you let guilt linger – the bible says that sorrow without repentance leads to death ( 2 Corinth 7: 10). Always make sure you go back to God, don’t let the devil use sin to wedge a gap between you God, don’t leave it till it’s too late.  And above all, let your relationship with God be fueled by love, real love! The sort of love that will always make you check yourself to make sure you aren’t offending God, the kind of love that will let you sacrifice your flesh to please Him everyday!

I hope someone reads this and finds it helpful or can relate. It’s easier to say don’t sin but we are human and constantly fall short, but what we do when we fall is what counts. I write this because it’s easier for me to go through stuff when I can map it out in front me in words and that’s all this is. It’s a little lengthier than my usual posts but I believe that those of you who read it till the end will find value in it. I believe that our Christian life is a marathon and not a sprint ( Hebrews 12:1-2) – we need to keep at it!

Happy Sunday guys!

xxx

Tired…

I am tired….

I do not want to make small talk, I do not feel like smiling.

No, I am not in a mood, I just don’t feel the need to smile like an idiot for no reason at all.

No, everything isn’t bubbly and fun.

And no, I don not care that the sun is out, that does nothing for my mood.

My day will not just magically brighten up because the sun is out.

It was up when I had to be in the office for 7.30am this morning!

Newsflash, it’s summer! The sun is always out and bad things still and will happen.

Plus its 33 degrees out!

I am tired.

I don’t care about emails, I have no interest in changing someone’s life by offering them their dream job.

Not today.

Today I have no sympathy for candidates who come in for their interviews nervous.

No, I do not want to hold your hand and calm you down.

I am just tired.

The office banter,

The compliments on my hair,

Laughing at my boss’s jokes,

Thinking of what to have for lunch,

Chatting about upcoming vacations.

I do not care.

Maybe tonight I’ll sleep good and emerge from bed covers a social butterfly in the morning,

But not today.

Today I am tired.

Just Tired.

Feeling Bleh…

Started off as a bleh day and then it got really good! I had some stuff I was dealing with in work and God just swooped in and took care of it like it wasn’t even an issue and it really got me in great form for the whole day. I was busy busy busy but still getting stuff done and it was just a really sound day in work until… I felt the dead ache down below and then I remembered I’m a girl 😦 And just like that, my awesome day just turned upside down into a frown. I had already settled in for a late evening in work with lots of quiet and no interrupting phone calls or annoying meetings, but oh no… I had to pack up and go, I was instantly cranky. Had to stop by the store next door to pick up make up wipes and fabric softner but my mood led me to other not so necessary purchases like…

Was at the checkout counter and I saw this and decided to give it a go. Its a chamomile 3 in 1 face lotion. It cleanses,tones and moisturises. I've really been having it with my face recently so I bought it. I have the Glycerin and Rosewater toner but for some reason I think it makes me darker. Now I'm probably wrong but until I know for sure I'm going to lay off it, plus it can be too moisturing at times- it almost feels like your face it sticky!
Was at the checkout counter and I saw this and decided to give it a go. It’s a chamomile 3 in 1 face lotion, it cleanses,tones and moisturises. I’ve really been having it with my face recently so I bought it. I have the Glycerin and Rosewater toner but for some reason I think it makes me darker. Now I’m probably wrong but until I know for sure I’m going to lay off it, plus it can be too moisturing at times- it almost feels like your face it sticky!

 

Now while the poor girl at the cash desk was struggling to find the words in English to describe what the Chamomile face lotion was for I kept on starring at her lips. She had on a shocking fuchsia pink matte lipstick on. I cut her explanation short and pointed at her lips she directed me to the Bourjois stand and picked up a lip gloss which I was  a little dissappointed and happy about because you guys know that if it was a lipstick I'd buy it every colour... I am a sucker for anything pigmented and matte
Now while the poor girl at the cash desk was struggling to find the words in English to describe what the Chamomile face lotion was for I kept on staring at her lips. She had on a shocking fuchsia pink matte lip colour. I cut her explanation short and pointed at her lips, she directed me to the Bourjois stand and picked up a lip gloss which I was a little disappointed and happy about because you guys know that if it was a lipstick I’d buy it every colour… I am a sucker for anything pigmented and matte

 

The colour is 05 Velvet and its the Rouge Edition. It dries MATTE :)
The colour is 05 Velvet and its the Rouge Edition. It dries MATTE 🙂
And as if the girl knew I was having a bad ending to an otherwise amazing day she threw this little adorable Lindor chocolate in my shopping bag. It was such a silly little gesture but it somehow made me less cranky and the cramps more bearable
And as if the girl knew I was having a bad ending to an otherwise amazing day she threw this little adorable Lindor chocolate in my shopping bag. It was such a silly little gesture but it somehow made me less cranky and the cramps more bearable

 

xxx 🙂