The Testimony

How it always plays out in my mind…

We go through things and complain. We talk about hindsight like an ex we just can’t get over. When things are tough we go back to God demanding an explanation, almost implying that  He must have made a mistake. You feel stuck, in a dead end sitution that you feel could have been easily avoided so why would God allow it?? We quote the scripture; “He causes all things to work out for the good….” or “I know the plans I have for you says the Lord…” but yet we fret when we have to trust Him and let Him be God. We go back crying to him to see a sneak peak of the master plan because this can’t possibly be making sense anymore. We’ve tried to think about what lesson we’re meant to learn from this “season” of our lives. And then we remember the scripture, “Your thoughts are not my thoughts neither are your ways my way” and it brings us comfort in the moment but as soon as that passes we lose hope. Trust becomes difficult even when it is literally our only option.

I take actions every day and make decisions from time to time. In recent years I’ve come to praying  before making any decision. And that makes sense to me because I believe every decision I make has implications for the future and I know that I can’t see into the future but I know God can. Some other people believe that the universe orchestrates or ordains their future so they let things fall into place haphazardly sometimes… If it’s meant to be…. My “universe” is God and He is much more bigger than the universe so I ask and commit every decision to Him. And even for the times I don’t and end up making the wrong decision, He still moves things around and aligns my actions so that it all works out in the end. I know this like I know my name, but somehow I still catch myself consciously exchanging this assuredness for worry, restlessness, panic, dread. Other times I go as far as relying solely on my efforts (if you are not a Christian, I get how this seems logical, but it’s not to me). 

I made a decision almost a year ago that I thought was the right decision… then the wrong decision… then the right decision. And it went back and forth like this till it become irrelevant. Like I said earlier, I believe every decision has implications for your future but at some point I just couldn’t see the reason behind my decision. How could I have prayed about this decision and all it was giving me was grief around every corner. Day in day out I would go back to God and just complain and relive the day I made the wrong decision (according to me). What good could possibly come out of this, and how had I got it so wrong this time after praying about it? Fast forward to present day and I am reminded why I have faith, why I can never rely solely on my own efforts and how my limited my view is. That seemingly “bad” decision I made a year ago has been the very thing that God has used to bless and sustain me in my current situation. I went through a phase of asking God how I was going to pull this off, how would I survive and but God just kept silent because He had already gone way ahead of me to make provision for my future lack like by that one decision I made. I couldn’t see in it in my own right because all I can ever see is the Now but God sees the Then. Just because you go through some tough unpleasant times doesn’t mean it wasn’t ordained by God. Don’t let the devil discourage you from trusting God with a little hardship. That it becomes difficult does not mean it is wrong, pointless or bad. Keep the faith and believe that God is in control. 

I know this testimony is nondescript and a bit ambiguous but I left it this way to make it easy for you to insert yourself into the story. Fill in your situation, your hardship, your provision and your hope. Let this be your testimony too, because whatever stage of the story you fall into, I believe that God will still cause every thing to work out for your good if you believe.

I have stalled on writing this because I kept getting bogged down with the details of the testimony and believe the devil used that as stumbling block for me. But today U decided to leave out the details of the testimony and let you know the moral of the story – which is all that matters – whatever you are going through at the moment, whether you started off with God or not, trust that He is able turn every situation that you are in and make it all work out in the end. The end might not be today, next month, this year or even the next but it will all make sense in the end – whenever that might be for you.

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