Bare It All Mondays

Open book time folks – sharing some of my flaws today. Not that I enjoy airing my dirty laundry but I think this is a tiny step in the right direction – confronting them.

  1. I could be more organised. I always start with the right intentions and after the first day the novelty wears off and I go back to living in havoc. My disorganisation is most evident in my apartment but surprisingly not in my life that much. I am all over the place in what I would like to do with my life but that’s about it. I am a very decisive person, not being able to decide has never been a problem for me.
  2. I am very impatient. I think as a Christian I could do so much more with my patience but I just don’t have it. I make an effort for people who I know are honestly trying but are just a bit slow in picking things up because I am like that. Yes, I know, you would expect me to be more patient seeing as I am not a fast learner myself but I’m not. I get impatient with friends who make the same mistakes over and over again despite you giving the same advice over and over again. I’m impatient with indecisive people and always do my best to ensure that my fate is never in their hands. I would really like to work on my patience but at the same time it’s helped me in avoiding silly situations and has rid my life of time wasters so maybe it isn’t a flaw J
  3. I’m a half arsed person. If I can get away with doing something only half arsed I would. This is probably the sole reason why I don’t excel in many areas of my life. As long as it’s not a requirement then I feel I can get away with it and I’m very aware of when I’m doing it. It eats into my mind and I mentally beat myself up about it. I’m the sort of person who would see a job ad that I really want to be considered for and still won’t bother writing a cover letter, I’d just send my cv knowing  well that I should have sent a cover letter. Surprisingly this doesn’t stop me from being hard-working and when I’m in a team it isn’t a problem, I always pull my weight.
  4. I am inconsistent. It doesn’t matter what it is, if it requires consistency I will fall short… working out, eating healthy, taking medication you name it and I’ll be inconsistent in it. It’s awful I know, again another reason I don’t see result in things that I work hard on, I never keep at it. But that I am inconsistent does not mean that I never complete anything, I have never dropped out of anything, It’s more so when I have to do something on my initiative like working out for example J
  5. I feel that I could be more humble. Sometimes I could be with a group of friends and I’ll say something and after I leave I’ll kick myself for saying it because no one needed to know and I came across as boasting. I also think I could be a lot more humble in my thinking as well, not that I would think that I’m better than anyone else but sometimes I’m all about me me me! I guess I could also work on not being so self-centred as well
  6. I can be very anti-social sometimes – this stops me from meeting people and networking. It’s good to have some me time but not at the expense of meeting people of influence, you never know who you can bump into by going places and meeting people.
  7. I do not like confrontations – I feel like it upsets the balance of relationships ( yes, I am terribly wrong, I know) When push comes to shove I will confront the other person but in this regard I can be too patient. Sometimes I hope that the BS would just go away on its own. And a lot of times when you try to confront your friends they tend to be on the defensive and throw some personal ish that you told them in your face. Sometimes I don’t confront people because I’ve seen how they’ve reacted to another person’s confrontation and I’m just not bothered. When it comes to my relationship, I have no issues confronting my boyfriend, I just say it as it is. Confrontations and giving an honest opinion are different two different things- confronting what someone did to me is what I don’t like, I’ll rather cut them off, but giving my honest opinion is not a biggie for me. If a friend is acting in a way that isn’t right then I will tell them straight up, but when it’s towards me, then not so much J
  8. I am prone to depression- I have bouts of depression every couple of months and I just feel down for no particular reason. Nothing makes me happy, I spend days comparing every aspect of my life to the lives of others. I count my failures and missed opportunities over and over till I run myself down emotionally. Now, while there isn’t anything dangerous about my bouts of depression it is still wasted down time wasted and unaccounted for. I could use that time to capitalise on an opportunity instead of counting the one’s I’ve missed. If it was a time used to reflect back on my life constructively then I wouldn’t mind but I intentionally push aside anything good that has happened and focus on all the bad… it’s very destructive and affects all my relationships for that time being.
  9. Sometimes the urge to always be heard takes over and I always have to have a reply. This irritates me more than the people on the receiving end. I hear myself talking and all I can think is ‘shut up you don’t always need to be heard’. I can’t find the balance so sometimes I can be overly quiet. I always an extreme- talkative or quiet. Too be honest I prefer being quiet because I’m ok with not telling people everything ( I’m getting better) and other times I’m just Miss Yap Yap. Not everything said needs a retort and my opinions are not life changing, if I’m not heard life as we know it will not be over but at the same time I need to learn how to be more open about things that really matter. There’s also that part of me that enjoys working on something on my own and surprising everyone when it’s completed (yes I know, I come off as a show off L)

Gosh I’m happy none of this stuff made it on my cv, I’d never ever get hired.

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3 thoughts on “Bare It All Mondays”

  1. Thanks for sharing! I recognise myself in alot of this and i’m sure many others will too. Self-awareness is a step in the right direction, knowing what’s wrong and then acting to improve. But also take the time to be easier and forgiving to yourself. Most of the time we grind ourselves down, thinking that we could or should be “better” when sometimes all we can be is ourselves. Even if it’s not the perfect self we imagine. On saying that, I have a small list of self-improvements that I should be getting on with 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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